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What Not to Do When a Kid is Being Bullied (From Someone Who was Bullied)

You walk like a boy. Your legs are so hairy.Your chest is so flat. You'll never get a boyfriend. You have man-looking sideburns. Hey cuties, except Daniela. Your feet are big. You're fat.

Those were some of the things that were said to me. Obviously, now that I'm grown, I know that some of those statements were merely observations from kids who didn't know how to keep their thoughts to themselves. I also realize that I was fortunate enough to not be physically bullied.


However, at the time, some of those statements were really hurtful to me. I'd hold back tears. Many times, I'd wait to get home to shut myself in my room and cry myself to sleep.


I remember one specific day though. I was in 6th grade, and boys had been making comments about my weight and appearance all day. I was tired of it. It wasn't necessarily the words used; it was the tone and laughter that accompanied those words.


I was in the band hall, and I was getting my euphonium out of its case. Without any invitations, a trombone player approached me and, laughing, asked me why I was so fat.


I slapped him. That was the first time I ever slapped anybody. I felt like I was in a telenovela. Totally not the right response.


I never told my teachers about what was happening. I told my parents once. Mind you, these comments were made to me starting in first grade and ending in sixth grade. Occasionally, there were comments in high school, or even as an adult, that triggered me (but that's a story for another time).


When I did tell them, I was told to ignore it. But, how can a kid ignore constant comments that make them sad? It was really difficult for me to do that.


The subjects of those comments became my biggest insecurities, and sadly still are.


Obviously, I don't hold a grudge on my parents. They did what they thought was right, and I mean, sadly I believe it's part of our culture to suck it up.


But, don't tell kids to ignore bullying. Create a safe space for them instead, and teach them how to address it. Help them see that they're beautiful in their own way. Teach them that they are worthy. I'm not a parent, but these are the things I wish had happened when I finally opened up about it.


Thanks for stopping by! Leave a comment if you were ever bullied and how you responded. Subscribe for more and share if you'd like. Additionally, let me know if there's anything you'd like me to write about.

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